So, a lady at work has been talking about her niece's child harness. I guess it's a backpack & the little girl loves it...as do her parental & grandparental units. It sparked a discussion in my head. I don't know anyone personally that had used on one their child & thought it was only fair to get some thoughts on both sides...hence the facebook poll.
Since none of them are writing this blog I guess they'll have to put their thoughts somewhere else because I'm putting mine here! We do not plan on using a harness with Hannah. It's way too much like a dog leash for me to use on my child. I also have conflicting views with people on how much freedom an 18 month old should be granted. She is not yet capable of making wise, calculated, well thought-out decisions & that's why she has parents & not a harness! It is my job, as her mother, to teach her how to handle her independence and how to obey me. I do not think she should be allowed to just wander places several feet away from me. If there is a street, parking lot, crowded location, etc., then she has to learn to stay by my side and for the time being that means, in the stroller, in my arms, or holding my hand. She does not get the option to go on her own as she would see it via the harness.
I do see the benefit to the harness in case she slips free and runs off anyways. However, I do not want her learning that it is ok to run away from me & that she's safe to do so because she has a backpack restraint. My mom didn't use one on us and somehow we all managed to stay alive and safe anyways. Although, I do have a scar on my cheek from mom grabbing me as I almost ran into the road. Oops. So, I did try to run away, my mom still caught me, and I've lived to tell about it. I think this is a case of parents having to raise children in the real world where it takes real work and where we can't have backup safety systems in place all the time. (And if you know me at all, you know that if it were possible I would probably live in a bubble if I could...and bring Hannah with me. )
Care to weigh in on the subject?
O thank goodness! Just kidding, whatever you decided you be fine (the subject of ridicule, but fine). I fully agree with and support your well thought out decision. And I was surprised at the extensive pro-harness response on facebook!
ReplyDeleteYes, I would like to weigh in...
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you! My first reaction to your facebook question was, "Why not just teach her to obey you and not run away?" but I didn't want to offend any of the other responders on facebook so I tempered my comments on there. I couldn't believe you were even considering it! I was already afraid that I was going to have to talk to Uncle Stephen and tell him not to say mean things about it to you! :)
Anyway, glad to hear our sweet Hannah will not be harnessed any time soon! Looking forward to seeing you this week.
The first thing I thought about when I started reading your blog was that scar on your face! I've always felt guilty about that but I would have felt even more guilty had I let you run into the street!! And that incident did not make me run out and buy a harness to put you in. It taught me to pay attention because children move very fast!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad we will never see Hannah in a harness and we all plan on playing a part in keeping her safe!!
Amen sista! I too was scared that poor little Hannah was going to be in a harness. Although it would have been a little bit of fun to make fun of her when she was older, I'm super glad your not actually going to be putting her on a leash. . . just sayin.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I cant wait to see you guys and eat Chico's!!
This is rachel. You're funny SarahFae. :) I missed the poll and I'm sad, now I need to go and search for it to read all the opinionated moms get excited about this issue, haha.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a harness fan for the same reasons you aren't...I want my child to learn what's not okay because of my parenting, not a harness.
But honestly, I just don't think it's that big of a deal. I know people that use them and their kids seem to be fine. I think they get way more flack for using one than they should. Some parents do use it like a leash and have crazy kids that don't learn very well. Others use it as an additional tool for very high maintenance children.
AND, I wonder how much our opinions would change if we had many children to keep track of and needed to run to the store? I dunno, I could see myself leaning a little more towards the harness just for the sake of getting in and out the store without a mess and craziness (well, less craziness, ha).
Of course, I'm not arguing for it, just saying that I don't think it's always terrible when backed up with good parenting. But yeah, probably won't ever be purchasing one.